To A Man's Heart
by Liza McCookie
Summary: The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Ever heard that one? Two people, a lot of food to throw at each other. Five friends, eager to eat some of said food. Change is on the horizon. Usa/Mamo, drabble ish… well, differs every other chapter.. XD
1. Cake

_**A.N.** __Hey, this is my first fanfic so please be kind! One Chapter will be exactly 100 words, the next 1000. Hopefully there will be one chapter a week. Thanks for reading!_

"Gay." Usagi nodded. Definitely gay.

Mamoru glared at her.

There was going to be another fight.

Everyone was tense.

No one knew which would snap first.

"Ne, Odango, when was the last time you had a boyfriend then?"

"Mamoru, when was the last time you didn't look like a gay model?"

A harsh silence took over.

Each picked up something that could do bodily harm.

The senshi sighed, the patrons of Crown arcade rolled their eyes.

Motoki wondered why they had to ruin his business.

The first cake was thrown.

"Usagi," Motoki murmured, "was that supposed to land on me?"


	2. Cupcake

_**A.N.** Thanks for the reviews! It means a lot, because i didnt think i would get any. I think i'll add a chapter every monday or every friday. Depends. If I'm inspired enough i might even do one on both. Plus, it would help if you could give me some random food to base each chapter on! This one is cupcake, length 1000 words. _

"Furu-san, I am so sorry," Usagi gushed, trying to think of something to do to make it up to him. It wouldn't do if they were unable to come to their favourite hangout any more. Rei would kill her.

"Really, Odango, only you could have such awful aim. Though, to be honest it would have been more likely for you to have shoved that down your own throat."

Usagi's attention was once again on Mamoru.

Motoki had to wonder if the guy wanted her attention all the time because of some twisted hidden attraction. It wouldn't surprise him. Mamoru had issues.

"Usagi-chan, would you mind cleaning this up for me while I get changed?"

"Oh my! Furu-san! I apologize! I will do that right away!"

As Usagi sprang to action, Motoki came to regret his request.

"Odango, you missed a spot."

"I WILL KILL YOU MAMORU CHIBA!"

Lest to say, the floor was not cleaned…

* * *

"Thank you for this, Mako-chan!" Usagi beamed as she put on her bunny apron, "Cupcakes would be the perfect thing to say sorry to Furu-san and make sure we are able to step into the arcade!"

"Yes, well, Usagi-chan, I thought maybe I would make all of the cupcakes and, well, then you could give them to him," Makoto said warily. She only had their best interests at heart.

"Mako-chan," the sobs were coming, they were imminent, "Do you think I can't cook?"

Stuck between a rock (lying) and a hard place (telling the truth), Makoto choose the safer option… for her.

"Of course not, Usagi. How about we make them together?"

The tears quickly stopped, and the kitchen immediately was taken over by the blonde. "Yay! I hope Furu-san likes my extra special cupcakes, made with love!"

"You don't still like Motoki, do you, Usagi?" Makoto asked as she handed over the flour.

They were surrounded by a cloud of white. Makoto wasn't sure whether it was that or shock turned Usagi that very same colour.

"Well… um… you see… um… NO! Well, there's Tuxedo Kamen and, well, it's just that Furu-san is a good friend and… I kind of sort of like him, but not as much as I like Tuxedo Kamen. So, well…"

"Usagi," Makoto smiled and put a hand gently on her shoulder, "I get it. How about we clean up and get back to the cupcakes."

Usagi nodded rigorously, and Makoto almost worried it would fall off. "Hai!"

Makoto sighed in relief as she slid the lone try into the oven. "Twenty minutes, Usagi. Then all we have to do is slap on some icing and all this will be settled."

"I wasn't too much trouble, was I, Mako-chan?"

She was staring at her with those big blue eyes of hers. "Of course not, Usagi. I had lots of fun."

"Umm, Mako-chan?" Usagi asked shyly, "Is it okay if, maybe, I stayed over? We could stay up and talk and all kinds of things like a really girly sleepover! We could even wear makeup!" Usagi could imagine it. They would both do each other up and end up looking like supermodels and then, maybe, just maybe, Tuxedo Kamen might see her and fall in love. She chose to ignore the fact that he didn't know Sailor Moon was Usagi.

Also, Usagi really wanted to eat some more of Mako's yummy cooking.

Makoto was too tired to argue.

Unfortunatly she wasn't going to get any rest soon. There was an attack halfway across town.

"Will the cupcakes be okay?"

"Usagi!" Makoto scolded. There wasn't time for the cupcakes.

~ Forty Minutes Later~

"Um, Mako-chan, do you think Furu-san will still like them?"

On the table sat twelve charred buns. The kitchen smelt like smoke. Makoto didn't have the energy to make any more cupcakes.

"I am sure Furu-san will love them, Usa." Motoki was on his own.

Makoto fell asleep promptly.

Usagi was let loose with the icing.

~The Next Day~

"Furu-san, Furu-saaaannn!"

Motoki turned around to see Usagi beaming, a pretty box held out towards him. "Usagi, what's this? You know I wasn't really mad about yesterday, right"

"Oh, well, I still had to say sorry," Usagi smiled innocently, "This is for you, enjoy!"

Usagi wandered back to the Senshi, sliding in beside Makoto, currently fast asleep. "I really hope Furu-san loves my special cupcakes!"

The senshi eyed each other warily, but decided that if Makoto had helped make them, then they couldn't be all that bad.

Meanwhile, Mamoru had just stepped into the arcade. He was only out of class and had been hoping to get some peace and quiet. He found something better instead.

"Hey, Odango Atama! What are you doing here? I didn't think you'd show your ugly face so soon after what you did."

Her face slowly progressed from pink to boiling red and he had to hold back his laughter. Teasing her had somehow become a favourite pastime. One he couldn't even explain to himself.

"I was actually here to give Furu-san some of my special cup cakes you ugly pig headed rat!" she yelled, her hand fishing around for something to throw.

Everyone was wise enough to get the sharper things far away.

"Special cup cakes? Let me guess, odango, they're filled with love, aren't they. They probably taste horrible too, not that a pig like you would notice. You just throw anything in your mouth regardless of whether or not its even edible. Which reminds me, do you know where all the rubbish has gone? I heard there was a rise in the rat population but, you do seem to have gotten very fat, Odango Atama."

This was it.

Another show down.

Usagi was going to… cry?

"How can you be so mean!" Usagi snivelled, her big eyes filled with tears that could easily break a young mans heart.,

Mamoru froze. He hadn't expected this. Not one little bit.

The Senshi were glaring at him, and even Motoki was giving him a look.

_**A.N.** Next up, Pineapple, 100 words._


	3. Pineapple

_**A/N:** Dia Duit! (Irish for hello, for those who do not live in said permanantly raining country). This is chapter 3. Dont expect two chaps next week though, because im back to school on monday! Thanks for the reviews and enjoy! Next up is Chicken, currently standing at 519 words, but i will be typing in a sec... ish. I miss summer already..._

"Odango Atama, I didn't-" he stopped himself. The way things were going, he could only make it worse.

"Really, Mamoru, I didn't think you were so cruel," Rei said, eying the snivelling Usagi sympathetically.

Even Motoki nodded in agreement. Oh dear.

He had to find some way to redeem himself.

It was then that he spotted the box. The one with the cupcakes.

He grabbed it off Motoki and emptied it on the table. Warily, he lifted one charred specimen to his lips, and took a large bite.

"Not bad."

The group sighed.

"But why does it taste like pineapple?"


	4. Chicken

**A/N:** _What teacher gives about 30 questions homework on algebra on the first day? Mine, apparently. I'll put another chapter up on Firday, 100 words. I think I'm on a roll. At some point I'm gonna struggle. Enjoy, readers, and thanks to all those who have reviewed!_

* * *

While Usagi's cooking skills were readily in doubt, the fact that such a strange taste had arose made one or two raise an eyebrow.

"Pineapple?" Motoki said, more so to himself. He then picked up a bun and took a bite. It took every bit of willpower he had not to vomit at that moment. "Usagi-chan, what did you put in this icing?"

"Hmm," She said, thinking back, "Well, Mako-chan left some things sitting on the counter, so, whatever was there I suppose."

At that moment, everyone felt sorry for Mamoru. The poor man had even been angelic enough to _complement _her cooking. Well, as far as _Mamoru _would 'complement' anything Usagi did.

"What do you think, Furu-san? Were they nice?"

Motoki looked at the Senshi for help. There was only pity in their eyes. "Great," he said, only to feel said items coming back up to say hello. Oh dear.

As Motoki ran away to the safety of the bathroom, Usagi looked on, concerned. "Is Furu-san okay? It wasn't something in my cupcakes, was it?"

Rei and Makoto held back Minako and smiled a little to brightly. "Of course not, Usa-chan. He was looking a bit under the whether today anyway."

"Hmm," Usagi murmured, her eyes wide and concerned, "Maybe I should make him something to help him feel better."

The Senshi fell of their seats.

Mamoru hoped to be somewhere far away when that day came. Very far.

* * *

**_~Two Days Later~_**

* * *

"Yay! The weekend at last!" Usagi sang as they all walked into the arcade. She'd even managed to not get detention today. What a model student she was becoming!

"Ne, Furu-san! Are you feeling any better?"

Motoki resisted the urge to hide. She hadn't brought any food with her. At least not any homemade food.

He might just live another day.

"Usagi-chan, how are you? I didn't expect all of you to be coming here today."

The Senshi looked on with blank faces.

"You mean you guys don't know?"

"About what?" Mina asked, twirling a strand of her blonde hair.

"That new park opens tonight. The one with the huge roller coaster you can see for miles."

A second past.

Four eyes lit up. One pair filled with tears.

"Let's go!" yelled Minako, ready to conquer the challenge.

"It looks scary!" cried Usagi, looking for help. She didn't want to die on some roller coaster.

"Odango Atama, don't tell me you're chicken."

She new that voice. She wished that she didn't.

"Oh my, Mamoru-san, I didn't know you knew about this too," Rei said, smiling a little too happily.

"He probably planned this from the start," Usagi hissed, "He knew I'd be scared so he made sure he would be here to try and embarrass me! Well, think again, Mamoru Chiba, because I'm going to stick to you like glue, and you won't once see me scared at all."

No one quite knew what to say. On one note they were glad Usagi was using her brain despite her flawed logic, on the other, Usagi would be crying her head off on the first ride they went on.

* * *

_**~In Which They Arrive At Their Destination~**_

* * *

"Usagi, are you alright?" Minako asked as the fellow blonde literally shook with fear.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-" Usagi was stuck on repeat.

The Senshi eventually realized there was only one thing they could do.

"Pst, I think Mamoru-san is laughing at you."

Usagi went from green to red. "How dare he! I'll show him what I think of-"

"NO SKIPPING IN THE LINE!"

Ah, yes, they were in a line weren't they.

The one for Japans largest and scariest roller coaster.

All because _he_ insisted they cue up.

Glaring at the people between her and her target, Usagi started to think of a plan. She had to stick to Mamoru like glue, GLUE, I TELL YOU! Or else all would be for naught.

She was already deathly afraid, looking up at the foreboding structure. Being on it would be hell. Proving Mamoru wrong just might outweigh that. But if Mamoru wasn't there…

Usagi glared at the giggling pile of girls that separated her from her vengeance. There were looking at Mamoru weirdly too, and _giggling_, of _all _things.

She couldn't help but wonder why. I mean, Mamoru was exceptionally ugly and annoying, how anyone could like him just made absolutely no sense. As for Rei, well, she was an idiot, after all.

Mamoru looked behind him, just in time to see some familiar buns floating a few people behind. He felt kind of bad, actually, for making her go on this ride she was clearly scared of, but then again, why should he care about the little brat?

"Hey Mamoru, maybe we should go back to the girls. I mean, we were the ones who dragged then on this, right," Motoki said, also noticing Usagi's hair floating above the crowd.

"Yeah, yeah," Mamoru murmured, having already come to the conclusion himself.

When they reached the head of the queue, they let the people behind them go on ahead until the Senshi were beside them.

The girls thanked them for waiting, while Usagi tried to plan how to not die.

Soon enough the next bath of cars pulled up, and it was their turn.

Then, it all happened so fast, Motoki was shoved into a car with a stranger, then Minako and Makoto, then Rei and Ami. Then the cars shot off, screams echoing behind them.

"Um…" was all Usagi could say.

"Two to a car!" Yelled the man in charge, shoving a shocked Uasgi and Mamoru together in a car before there was any time to argue.

A lump rose in her throat. She couldn't do this. She was too _scared_.

Mamoru sighed, "Chicken."

Taking off his coat, he wrapped it tightly around her, before patting her hand gripping the bar that kept them prisoner.

Despite the fact she knew this was only Mamoru, Usagi felt her cheeks heat up and her heart race.

* * *

**A/N:** _So, that was 1000 words, next up, The Usagi Burger (Part 1) on Friday. Plus, just to say this, I LOVE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB! TAMAxHARU 4EVS! XD_


	5. The Usagi Burger Part 1

**A/N:** _Happy friday! Thanks for the review and follows and stuff! It means a lot! This is part one. Part two will be on Monday hopefully!_

* * *

Usagi warily stood up.

She would not fall, I repeat, she would not-

Um… never mind.

"Are you okay, Odango? You don't well."

"I'M FINE!" she yelled.

He was too close. Far too close. His arms holding her up, his lovely eyes gazing into her own-

Wait a minute, this was Mamoru. MAMORU CHIBA! The man who made her life a living hell, the one who called her that _stupid _nickname!

She pushed him away, feeling awkward and unstable, like a newborn calf without him supporting her.

"Let's just go look for the others, okay? They're probably worried about us."

* * *

**A/N:** _Anyone else all fired up and waiting for the new season in 2013? I AM!_


	6. The Usagi Burger Part Two

**A/N:** _Yo, Chapter 6. Thanks for reviews. They mean a lot! Plus, i dont know how i keep getting these out on time. This is the Usagi Burger part 2. Dont know what the next one is... :(_

* * *

An awkward silence reigned supreme.

"Sooo… where are we again?"

The Senshi and Motoki looked around themselves, and yet still had no idea. Upon getting off the roller coaster they had been swept away by the crowd (yet they had still managed to pay ten quid for a photo of them screaming with their hair sticking up from their head).

"Not a clue," Motoki said, starting to feel a small dread build inside him. Usagi and Mamoru were alone. Would the park still be standing by the end of the night?

"We should probably go wait by the food," Ami said, flicking through a book and trying to ignore the fact that her hair felt like a birds nest. She would not look. "Sooner rather than later, Usagi is going to get hungry. No one would argue with a hungry Usagi.

* * *

_~ Meanwhile Elsewhere ~_

* * *

"We are not getting food until we find the others!"

"Well I'm hungry so we are!"

"I wonder how much food would have to be shoved down your throat to make you full, Odango Atama. For that matter, have you actually ever filled that disgusting bottomless pit?"

Usagi decided to be the better person, and so walked away. She smelt pizza. _Mmmm, Pizza._

"Oi, where are you going off to?" Mamoru yelled, running after the idiotic blonde.

"I told you, I'm hungry. When I get hungry I eat. Are you on a diet or something? Trying to impress your boyfriend?"

"Fatso," Mamoru sighed, knowing that on this one occasion he was admitting a minor defeat. For some reason he felt… flustered. Earlier, she had looked kind of cute. Those big blue eyes, delicate face. And he had to admit, she wasn't fat.

Never mind that, something about Usagi was so familiar. Sometimes being with her felt just like coming home. Not that he had felt such a feeling before.

"Hey, Mamoru-baka. Stop staring off into space and start looking for my pizza!" Usagi grumbled, trying to resist the urge to look him in the eyes. How could she after that awful scene earlier. To even think about Mamoru in such a way was sinful. Never mind the fact that Rei would kill her.

She had only just started to get lost in her thoughts when she smelt it. Who care about pizza when you could have a burger!

Smiling widely, Usagi unconsciously grabbed Mamoru's hand and dragged him to her stomachs desire.

Mamoru, shocked beyond belief, was quickly calmed by the excitement on her face, the way her eyes lit up and her smile brightened. Who cared if she was a gorb when food could make a girl smile like that.

"Three burgers please!" Usagi called, breaking the spell.

"Three?" Mamoru exclaimed. "How the hell do you even fit through a door frame."

Usagi pouted angrily and shoved one of the burgers she was passed into his open mouth. "One's for you, idiot. Way to be ungrateful. I don't know why I bother."

Nearly choking on his burger, Mamoru simply laughed to himself and followed her around the food stalls.

He didn't comment on the fact she had two burgers for herself, nor on all the other rubbish she bought for herself.

And, so, for once this unlikely pair walked side by side without disaster.

* * *

_~Back With the Unsuspecting Senshi (oh, and Motoki too)~_

* * *

"Shouldn't we have come across them yet?" Motoki asked, looking for signs of disaster and/or fire.

"Who cares, I'm sure their just fine," Minako laughed, munching at her fifth chocolate crepe. For some reason, since she had been appointed in charge of them they kept passing that same stand.

"Sure, how could Usagi bear to stay mad at anyone when surrounded by so much good food. Her stomach will rule her heart on this one, I'm telling you," Makoto said, finally breaking herself away from chatting with one of the chefs. Her handy pocket recipe book was getting filled up fairly nicely tonight.

"Still," Motoki said, eyebrows creased in worry, "I hope they're both okay."

"You're too cute, Furu-san," Mina said, pinching his cheek and skipping happily towards the crepe stand. She just couldn't stop herself.

"By the way," Ami said from her place on a nearby bench. She had been sitting there for the past half an hour while the others had walked around in a circle repeatedly. "Isn't that Usagi and Mamoru over by the chocolate stand?"

Everyone quickly swivelled around, just in time to see Mamoru hand Usagi a prettily wrapped box of chocolates.

"WHAT THE-" Rei screamed.

* * *

_~With The Presumed Lovers~_

* * *

"Ooh! Look how pretty those chocolates are!" Usagi smiled, hands pressed against the glass case. "I think I'll get some for Momma! Sweeten her up for the week ahead."

"I've been wondering, Odango Atama, how did you get all this money?" Mamoru asked, holding back a smirk as her whole body twitched at his nickname.

"For your information, I managed to pass all my tests this week and I didn't get detention!" Usagi huffed, waiting for her chocolates… er, her _mothers _chocolates to be wrapped.

"Miss?" the man at the till asked, telling her the bill. As Usagi searched in her bag for her new bunny purse, Mamoru took the chocolates.

Handing over the money, Usagi put her things away and smiled thankfully as Mamoru gave the chocolates over.

"WHAT THE-"

Turning around, Usagi managed to see the Senshi and Motoki beside that crepe stand she had been meaning to go to. "Hey guys! We've been looking for you everywhere!"

Everyone was silent as they approached.

"Ne, Usagi-chan, why are you and Mamoru-san holding hands?"

Slowly, Usagi turned her head and saw. Then she screamed, jumped and the yelling matches started again.

"How dare you touch me like that!"

"Touch you? As if I would want to touch a greasy Usagi Burger like you. Speaking of that, I'm surprise you haven't turned into a burger, the way you eat."

"Grrr."

"Maybe I should call you 'Burger-chan'?"

* * *

**A/N:** _And so, Burgar-chan was born. Exactly 1000 words. I am proud._


	7. The Usagi Burger Aftermath Part 1

**A/N:** _Hey, sorry its late, but my friends made me go to a disco last night. I didnt get a chance to write this *cries* so here are 200 words instead of 100! I'm not quite sure where im going, but i need to catch up with Maid-sama, if you're wondering where the random maid costume came from. Ah, the brain of a FanFiction author is such a strange place..._

* * *

"Fish-kun."

"No."

"Um… Goujon, wait, that isn't right. How about Turnip-kun?"

"SHUT UP USAGI!"

Everyone sighed in relief as Rei voiced their thoughts.

Usagi pouted and started to think on the inside.

'What can I call him? It has to be insulting and embarrassing and… um, it has to sound smart.'

"Hey Usagi," Makoto smiled as she came over, "Would this help?"

Usagi nodded, taking the large cookbook out of her hands.

As Usagi filed through the pages, something dawned on her- why use words when she could take action. Laughing maniacly, she took out a notebook and wrote down her evil plan.

Monday was going to be a great day.

* * *

_**~On Monday (Crown Arcade)~**_

* * *

"Usagi-chan, what are you doing," Motoki asked as Usagi emerged dressed in a maid costume.

"Furu-san, can I have a favour?" Usagi asked, pulling out her puppy dog eyes.

"Sure, Usagi-chan. But may I ask why you're wearing a maid costume?"

Usagi smirked, then whispered the plan in his ear. "Well?"

Motoki sighed and shook his head. He shouldn't do it. He just shouldn't.

"I'll do it."

And so came to pass, the path towards Mamoru's doom. If only 'Burger-chan' had stayed where it belonged.


End file.
